Not alot to tell. Same ole crap different day. That pretty much sums it up. The bf is still at it. Staying out late. Oh well I don't think he's ever gonna grow up. I am almost to the point of not caring. Anyway, yesterday Little One and I rode the 4wheeler for about an hour. Little One loves to ride. Not much is happening lately. I guess in a way that is good. But it also means my life is pretty dull, Work, Cook, Clean, Play. That is my daily routine in a nutshell. Speaking of work, I should probably get to that now. SO see ya later.

Oh Crap

Oh Crap, that's what I thought when the alarm went off this morning. It's time to get up already. I think I hit snooze like 5 ot 6 times. I don't mind working. really I like my job. It's just the point of having to get up and get here. Once I get here I am okay. I think if I got to come in later and wear pajama pants and tshirts I would absoultely love it. Anyway, my weekend was okay. Just cleaning and laundry. I still do not have everything in my house straight from the move. I should, but I have done everything by myself, so I thought I am gonna be living here for a long time, so I have got plenty of time to get all this done, no point in working myself to death. The bf stayed gone pretty much all weekend, so I didn't have to listen to him. Me and Little One just did whatever we wanted, we watched movies, napped,went to my mother's house. Just hung out, inbetween loads of laundry and sweeping floors. SO all in all the weekend was pretty good. Nothing exciting......just the way I like it!!!!!!!

Hello!!!! I guess I am feeling better this morning. The bf was home last night, but at this point I am so frustrated with him that I wish he would've just left. He made an effort to be nice, but I wasn't buying it, cause I know it won't last. So why even try? I know you wonder why don't you just leave him? Well, that's a good question that I can't answer. I have tried. I know I am bettert than this and do not in any way deserve to be mistreated, but still I can't seem to get away from him. For people who have not been in this situation, you'll never understand. Most people don't, they say oh well I would just tell him where he can go. Yeah Right!!!! For some reason you just can't. I don't know why. I wish I did. I do not have low self esteem, or anything like that,so I know it is not that. I just don't know what it is. Can anyone help me???? I can't seem to help myself.

This is where I wish I was. Preferably by a pool somewhere. I need a vacation.
Without the bf. Actually a vacation away from him might not be a bad idea. My computer wouldn't let me online this morning, so I was behind by the time it came up and am just now finding time to come here and post. I am trying to get back in shape and loose a few pounds. I am not what you would call very overweight, but I could stand to loose about 10 or 15 pounds. I used to do Tae-Bo every night several years ago. Well, I started back last night. I did manage to make it through the entire workout, only stopping once for a small breather. I was proud of myself. I hope I can keep it up. I may not do it everyday, but if I can do it several times a week that should be okay for now. Well, I think I should get back to work.

Good Morning all! Well, I am again tired and sleepy this morning. I didn't sleep very well. The bf did not come home last night. The last I heard from him he was at one of his buddies houses. (drinking beer of course) And I didn't hear from him again. I am really sick of this crap. The only reason I don't tell him to get out, is I don't want him to go and file for any kind of visitation for Little One. I Don't want him to be able to take Little One off for the weekends.I would go crazy knowing I had to let him takeLIttle One for a whole weekend. I don't think he is responsible enough to take care of himself, much less a child. I know that is a lame excuse to use, but it is true enough. But I honestly don't know how much more I can take of this crap. He does this ever so often. where he takes these spells of running around, and then just as quick her is back to staying home. I just deal with it the best I can, and right now it's none too good. Oh well, Maybe tomorrow will be better. After all :Tomorrow is Another Day.

Hello all! I hope everyone had a wonderful Father's Day. I didn't even see my Dad, he was gone before I got up. But, I did see him Sat. night and gave him his gift then. I actually slept in yesterday and it felt really good. I don't usually get to sleep late. All in all I guess the weekend was okay. The bf stayed gone pretty much all weekend. As ususal. I really don't know why I keep him around. I just mainly stayed around the house trying to get things in some kind of order. Yesterday me and Little One rode the 4-wheeler for about an hour. We rode everywhere.I know this is boring you to tears, but my life is pretty much the same day after day. Cleaning, cooking, taking care of Little One and fighting with the bf ( this consumes most of my time), somday I hope to end all the drama and have a normal life with someone who values me and treats me with respect that I deserve.

TGIF

It's finally Friday...........Yeah!!!! This is what I been waiting on all week.. I didn't post anything yesterday. After the way I felt the day before I just couldn't find it in me to even attempt to put down anything. I feel better today, I have talked with my friend King, and he makes it all better. So, Now the only problem will be dealing with the bf all weekend and trying to keep him home and off the roads. All he wants to do is run the roads with his friends. He acts like a teenager instead of a grown man. So, I will let you know how that goes on Monday. I hope to get everything straight at home soon, and maybe I can get service at home. Then I can keep up all the time.

NOTHING

I can't think of anything to say. I have so much I want to say and yet I can't find the words to type. So I will sit here and stare at this screen and just type a bunch of nonsense that dosen't say what I want to say. Do I make any sense at all? Prob not. I am just frustrated, I am just typing all this crap and on the inside I am screaming....I feel the words flowing through my veins, but they won't come out, they just stay there, stuck inside, screaming. I feel it, they want to come out, but if they ever start,they prob won't stop.I feel a little crazy. Is it possible to be a little crazy and not fully crazy???? Do you know, do you care? Why should you? Why should anyone??? I wan t to scream...really loud, just stand up on a mountain somewhere and scream my frustrations out til they're gone. I hate........I don't know what I hate.......Right now everything, nothing. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! There that was a scream sorta.. Didn't help much... that virtual scream.. I think I'll go now.I just don't know how to say what I want to.There is so much I need to get out, but can't find the words... Maybe later.

Monday again.

Here it is.....Monday again. Seems like it was just Monday. Hope your weekend was good. Mine was okay, the bf stayed gone pretty much all weekend, so I had some peace and quiet. I really don't have alot to say today. I am sleepy and tired. Monday's are just not my day. I guess you know that by now. Well I think I will get to work and maybe post later if I come up with something to talk about.

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Peanutbutter on my pants

It's not even 9:00 and I have peanutbutter on my pants. yep, that's right I was eating my wonderful breakfast of peanutbutter and crackers and got pb on my pants. Dosen't that just suck? I am trying to not eat so much junk food and all breakfast is very fattening, so I usually have a few pb and crackers and today I have it all over me. Now I have to walk around the rest of the day like this. Oh joy!!! Anyway. Not much else going on. Still sorting through the ever increasing mounds of junk that we have accumulated over the years. I hope to narrow down to things we actually use or wear. I may have a yard sale. I really hate yard sales, but if someone is willing to pay for my junk, then why not? I have bags and bags of baby clothes, I know someone will buy those. I could prob make a small fortune on Ebay if I had the time and took the effort to group them all and list them.

King, If you read this, I hope you are all better and in better spirits. Don't let anyone or anything get you down. YOU ARE WONDERFUL!!!!!!!! You have so much talent for writing, it is unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention very good looking. You have so much going for you! CHIN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxx000

Hey Yall

I didn't get a chance to post anything yesterday. I was kinda busy. You know how that goes?
Anyway, I am still unpacking. Yes, I know it is taking me a long time, but I am sorting through as I unpack and things that are no good, clothes that don't fit or are out of style are being gotten rid of. So that is why my house is still in shambles. Plus I work, so I can only do this at night and on weekends, and I am going throgh every single thing that we own. For about the past two weeks I have been up every night til about 1:00 and then go to bed and get up at 6:30 for work, work til 5 and go home and do it all again. I am really very tired and would love to just take a nap, right here on my desk at 9:24 in the morning. I think the only thing keeping me going is the daily doses of Mt.Dew that I am drinking as fast as I can get my hands on one. Thank goodness for Mt. Dew...and the occasional Dr. Pepper. Well I should probably get busy. C-ya later.

Happy Monday

Good Morning!! Today is Monday...What else needs to be said. Just kidding... Anyway.. weekend was pretty good. The bf kinda lost the attitude and was ok this weekend, he even got off his lazy bum and helped with the moving. !!!!! I know. Shocking!!!!!!!
I read on one of the news sites, that there is actually a town in Michigan named Hell. Can you imagine living in Hell? Anyway tomorrow is June 6, 2006......6-6-06 get it 666, well this town is going to have some big party, with t-shirts and everything. I just think that is so weird and really kinda creepy... I mean come on 666 in Hell. Whatever! I wonder if they have gates on the edge of town with a sign that says. Welcome, Now Entering the Gates of Hell... LOL hahaha
Oh well I better get to work. That is what they pay me for. Will try to post again later.

BETTER

Yea, I am better today. Yesterday I was kinda down, but I pulled myself outa that slump and feel better today. Things at home still aren't great. The bf has found himself a bad attitude problem. I wish he would take it back to where he found it and leave it there again. I am beginning to get really sick of his crap. He is nothing but an irresponsible drunk. There I said it... a drunk. That's all he does all day is just drink. He dosen't get just fallin out, stumblin drunk. but he does drink all day. It's just so annoying to see someone just not care about their life or the other lives around them. He is also selfish. Don't get me wrong I love him, but I don't love everything about him. And I don't like where we are right now. Things had been so much better, but now with this moving, he is being such a jerk...Enough about that. It seems like I have been moving forever. I am soo ready to be done with this. Maybe this weekend I will get everthing sorted through and put away. At least today is Friday. Hurray for Friday!!! Well I guess I should go now and get to work. be back Monday.

TIred

I am so tired...of everything. Sometimes I wish I could just go away somewhere by myself, somewhere that noone knows me and I could just sit by myself and have peace and quiet. Somewhere that I could read a book with no interruptions. Somewhere beautiful and serene.
Somewhere sunny but not too hot, Somewhere with a breeze and maybe a beach. Somewhere....Just Somewhere else!!!!!!!