Help

Can anyone help me? I would like to add links to other blogs on my blog. I don't know how to do this, Can someone tell me how to add a link?

Dream Story

I am not sure what this may turn out to be, but I dreamed this story and thought I should put it down somewhere so here goes:


She rested her head against his chest. Her fingers trailing lightly through the black mat of hair. Here she felt secure, safe and loved. She snuggled against his side.

Lakelyn sat upright in the bed as a bolt of lightning shot across the dark night sky. A thunderous clap of thunder shook through the stillness. Her hand reached across to the bed beside her to encounter nothing but the coolness of the sheets. She realized she had been dreaming again. Who was this man who invaded her dreams? Always the same dream, she had been having this same dream for several months now, since the passing of her father a fortnight ago. She looked around her with the realization of where she was coming back to her as she became more awake. She was in her father's once grand manor house. It now threatened to fall down around her in disrepair. Only she and a handful of her father's ever faithful servants were left now. They too would probably leave her, her father had gambled away everything after the riding accident that claimed her mother only last year. Then her father had drank himself into oblivion and ignored the estate and the lands. The property was overgrown with a tangle of brush and weeds. A few spring flowers were somehow managing to poke their heads through. Tomorrow I will work in the garden she thought, maybe that will get this dark stranger from my dreams. She lay her head against the soft down pillow as she began to try to return to her peaceful slumber. Thoughts filled her head, What will I do? The creditors are sure to begin showing at the door any day now to collect on father's debts. She thought of her father's hidden safe in the study below. Only a few pounds now remained. Just enough to feed herself and the servants for a little while longer. With no source of income for the estate, the creditors were sure to take her father's estate and sell it to the highest bidder to pay off the debts. Then not only would she be penniless but homeless also. Pressing the pillow to her face, she stifled the urge to sit up and scream out her frustrations till the walls came down. Then there would be nothing left to take, she thought. Seeing that the storm had passed and the sun was already beginning to peak on the horizon, She got out of bed and began to dress. I might as well get an early start on that garden, she thought. Maybe I could even begin a vegetable garden to help feed us.


And so far that is all I have. It may turn into nothing or I may try to continue the story. Sometimes my dreams are weird.

1) What stickers do you have on your car? Just an inspection sticker.

2) What posters do you have in your room? No posters, just pictures.

3) What do you hear right now? It's pretty quiet here.

4) If you could drink anything right this second, what would it be? Mt. Dew or Dr. Pepper

5) Does anything hurt on your body right now? My head, sinus headache

6) Do you have a crush right now? Yes. But I'll never tell who.

7) what's your job position called? Legal Secretary/Receptionist

8) Ring size? 6

9)Do you own a camera phone? No. But I wish I did.

10) when is your birthday? July 5

11) What was your elementary schools mascot? Red Raiders. GO BIG RED!

12) Whats your favorite bottled water? Whatever is back there in the water cooler

13) What's the next concert/show you're going to and when? No shows for me.

14) What were you doing at 9 pm last night? On my way to hospital emergency room.

15) Whats your favorite Starbucks drink? I don't do Starbucks.

16) Do you exercise as much as you should? Hmmmm, well is chasing a 3 year old considered exercise?

17) Did you attend your High School prom? Yes.

18) Did you go to someone else's prom? No, Around here you are not allowed to bring dates from other schools. too much rivalry.

19) Would you give your bf/gf a second chance if they cheated? Honestly, I don't know.

20) Something red within 5 feet of you? A red ink pen.

21) Do you smoke? Yes. My one bad habit.( Not much though)

22) The weirdest thing you've seen this week: The bf's face, last night after an injection of tramadol.

23) Ever done the Electric Slide? You betcha!

24) How much french do you know? Kissing, and a few words.

25) Favorite sparkly thing? My ring.( He did do one thing right)

26) Ever crash a car, been in accidents? Ran in a ditch one time, Nothing major! No injuries.

27) Do you look good in yellow? Not sure, I can't think of anything yellow I own.

28) Do you sing? Yes.

29) Ever sang in front of a crowd? Yes in church.

30) Do you dance? Sure, all the time. Expecially when I am cleaning house.

32) Least favorite color? Can't think of one

33) Favorite kind of pizza? Extra sauce, pepperoni, black olives and onions.

34) Ever had Dippin Dots? Yes.

35) Ever make fun of a homeless person? No.

36) How old were you when you got a cell phone? 17

37) How old were you when you got your first car? 2 weeks before my 15th birthday.

38) How many driving tickets have you had? None. Knock on wood!!!

40) How many parking tickets? Can't count.

41) Do you own your own car? Yes. well sortof. I am paying for it.

42) Do you want to get married? Maybe someday I'll try it again.

43) At what age do you want to get married? ????????

44) Have you ever been married? Yes.

45) Have you ever had to get a restraining order? No

46) How many kids? 2

47) Ketchup or Mustard? Depends on what I'm eating. Also, gotta have Miracle Whip salad dressing.

48) When is the last time someone deleted you from their space? Not any that I know of.

49) How many times a week are you on Myspace? Never.

50) Ever been kicked out of your home? No.

51) Favorite character on Friends? I don't really have a fav. I don't watch anymore, now that it is re-runs.

52) Have you ever been in love? Yes.

53) Have a crush on a teacher? No not really. There were a few football coaches that were kinda HOTT!

54) Favorite class? Any History.

55) Have a best friend? Yes

56) Have a boyfriend? Yes

57) Have a girlfriend? If you just mean friend girls. Sure. But not a girlfriend!

58) One place you want to travel to: England to see Helen. And just about anywhere!

59) If you could have anything right now what would it be? Enough money to pay my bills. And maybe a little extra to live comfortably and not have to count pennies and quarters to buy milk or whatever it is that we need.

Can you believe it?

I can't believe it, but the bf is actually at a job interview. Yes. That's right. Of course this will be a part-time job, but Hey some money is better than none. Right??? He does get a regular montly check, He draws disability. But this will help,this will be extra money. Maybe it will help his attitude to feel like he has a purpose or makes a contribution. hmmmmm, prob not. Just a hopeful thought. He has been a little better lately. Not so much running around, but he seems to take that by spells. SO things haven't been tooo bad lately. Not alot going on, I am going to tackle the task of painting my bathroom, sometime. I have taped off all the molding around the door and window, but I don't have a ladder or step-stool tall enough for me to reach to tape the molding at the top. So whenever I get that taped, I plan to begin my painting. I am going to paint it a dark sage green, and I have a rug with palm trees on it and I have ordered a shelf with palm trees. I guess I am going to create my own little oasis in the bathroom. That seems to be one of the only places I can find any quiet. Oh and in my closet. The bf thinks I am crazy, but I will sit in my closet. I have a big walk-in closet and it is very quiet in there. Sometimes when I have had enough, I will just go in the closet and close the door. Ahhhhhh, peace and quiet..... He thinks I'm nuts. hmmmmm, Maybe that is a good thing. Well, I will chat more later.

I have not got my house in order yet. We moved a couple of months ago, and still I do not have pictures on the wall or anything hung up. It is all piled in the hallway. Isn't that pitiful. I just have not found the time for extra things like that. Regular housework takes my time and I can't seem to find any extra.

The bf is hanging out with an old friend of his, I also know this guy from way back. He has made a couple of comments to me... such as when bf makes a smartass comment, friend will say, "you know you don't have to take that crap". He sorta says it in a flirty way. I am not sure if he is only kidding, or if he is kidding with a serious note behind it. I guess that will remain to be seen. More about this at a later date.

I had a pretty crappy weekend. The bf picked up his daughter on Friday, and she brought a friend with her. I had no idea the friend was coming. So then I was stuck with them all weekend. I do not know why he even picks her up, he dosen't spend any time with her at all. I just do not think it is my responsibility to take complete care of his child while he is out going wherever he wants. Tell me if I am wrong. I would really appreciate advice on this one. I do not dislike this child, she and I get along fine. I just do not think she should be dumped on me for a weekend, when he is her father. He saw her maybe a total of 3-4 hours all weekend, and that time line is a stretch. I doubt it was that much. Friday he picked her up brought her and friend to house, fixed them some food and then about 9 p.m. he left and did not come back homem, til the next morning. Then he was home for long enough to shower and change clothes and then he was gone again, home that night prob about 10-11 p.m. Sunday same thing, he gets up and leaves. I end up taking her home on Sunday. Please I welcome comments on this subject, am I just being selfish. HELP ME>

Flowers and Crap

Well, my friend has a new boyfriend, so she is giddy and happy and all mushy,gushy. And I look at her and think AWWWWWWWWWWW, that is so sweet. I wanna be like that. He showers attention on her, sends or brings flowers every other day or so when the previous ones are dead or just a little wilting. And I think to myself, "why can't I have that?" And then I remember, I did have that at one time. I dated a guy just like that, flowers all the time, gifts galore. If I mentioned in casual conversation that I had seen something that caught my eye, He would show up with it the next day. No expense spared,no question of "why the fuck do you want that, that is a waste of money." Just whatever I wanted. And do you know what? I broke up with him because it got on my nerves. What? You all say... How could you? And here you sit complaining of how bad things are, and you had it that good. Shame on you!!!! Yes, I know. I have some sort of problem. I have never liked the nice guys, they were just too boring. Give me the big, muscle, badass with a bad attitude to match and I am fine. ARRRRGH what is wrong with me? I don't know. I have always been that way.... Flowers are nice, very nice, but they die. Complete waste of money. Open my car door...WHAT>> I am sitting here like I am helpless, and I could've already opened my own door, and gotten out and we would be halfway to the door already. Wast of time, and I am not helpless so I can open my own door Thanks. I think I want to find a happy medium.... Give me a badass, that has common courtesy. Impossible???? He won't have to give me flowers, except maybe Valentine's Day, He won't have to buy me gifts for no reason, only holidays and birthdays. And even then I will provide a list of options. How simple is that? Open my door, not even an issue. Just simple courtesy Is all I will expect. Just realize this is home, not a hotel, I am not the maid, cook, housekeeper, sex slave, dishwasher, laundrywoman, babysitter, or your mother, I AM YOUR mate, spouse, partner, lover, EQUAL>>>> which means anything you expect me to do, you are not too good to do yourself~

Video

this is my all time fav. song. hope you enjoy

Music Video Codes By VideoCode.ORG

To everyone who has visited me and gave me any support or encouragement.

I am not sure what is going on with me. I think I may quit blogging and reading blogs. Don't know yet, maybe I will change my mind. I feel like all I do is come here and complain. I feel like I am feeling sorry for myself and people think I am out to get sympathy from everyone. That is not what I am doing. This is the only place I can put any of this stuff down. I am not looking for sympathy. I made my mistake of getting into this situation and now I have to live with it or do something about it. Until I get the courage to do something about it, this is my life. I am not perfect.